And the Packers select...

It's almost here...that magical time of the year, when 22 year-old's are likened to Messiah's and where the opinions of any dim-witted dweeb with the analytical capacities of a canary are treated like gold. That's right the NFL Draft, easily the most blown-out-of-proportion event in sports.

Don't get me wrong, after enduring almost three months without football, I'm on the edge of my seat. I've been reading and re-reading and re-reading the same ol' NFL news for weeks (probably due to the pathetic, paltry, and simply un-stomach-able excuse for "up-to-date" "expert insight" that ESPN, SI, and NFL.com provides at the rate of a snail missing a chromosome on its 21st pair) hoping to gleam some cryptic message of things to come from the never informative and always substance-less GM quotes. 

Maybe that's the problem. The Draft seems like a verifiable oasis in the middle of a barren, insufferable desert that is the NFL off-season. But too often, it's just a mirage, unable to truly quench my thirst for non-stop Packers information and action. I mean, let's face it, the significance of this weekend's proceedings probably won't be discernible for a year or two.

Even with that said, it's still always fun to see who your team takes, and even more fun to try to guess who they'll end up with. So without further ado, I'll jump right into things.

After the jump of course...

Well...here's the deal...

I was going to make a pick, back it up with some amazing analysis, but then I decided that would be a colossal waste of friggin' time.

Why?

Here's why: Mock drafts are a joke, and if you get the pick right, it's pure luck.

Who the Packers pick is contingent upon who the Jaguars pick, which is contingent upon who the Raiders pick, which is contingent upon who the Bengals pick., etc., etc., etc.

And all of that is contingent upon draft-day trades which are always unpredictable and those are contingent upon what each team's GM had for breakfast that morning  and that is contingent upon whether or not the local fire department bought the grocery store out of pancake mix for their annual pancake breakfast which is completely, utterly contingent upon the Chinese.

So in essence, it's a bunch of contingencies piled up on top of each other, ultimately culminating with the Chinese...and as we all know, the Chinese are wily and unpredictable.

Anyway, I guess all I'm really trying to say is that it's damn near impossible to predict the picks.

But never fear. Even if I can't tell you who the Packers will take, I can tell you who they may take. And I guess the rest is up to you.