2013 Packers Headlines

I thought that since we are entering a downtime for football, I might try to make some unique predictions. Not typical predictions such as MVP, Superbowl champion, and so on, but rather some humorous Packers-related headlines we might be reading next year. A couple of these might be true, but most are intended for humor. I think you all will be able to tell the difference.

Record Setting Performance for Coleman

Packers backup QB throws for 581 yards and 7 touchdowns in teams regular season finale.

"B.J. is a good player” says Packers head coach Mike McCarthy.

“He's better than me” says Rodgers.

What's Left?

Packers QB Aaron Rodgers wins second MVP award following teams 19-0 season in which he threw for over 7,000 yards and had a touchdown to interception ratio of 85/0.

“I can be better.” These were the words of Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers following second straight historical season.

Just When We Thought........

Just when we thought Packers QB Aaron Rodgers had done it all, he once again proves us wrong. Rodgers wins second Superbowl MVP after throwing for 624 yards and 7 touchdowns. He had three tackles and two interceptions on defense while filling in at safety during the second quarter.

“It feels great to record another win” says Rodgers following historic two-way performance. “I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help this team win.”

Oh Brother....Here We Go Again

Brett Favre un-retires for a record 200th time, joins Allen Wranglers of the Indoor Football League; also joining the Wranglers will be Randy Moss, Chad Ochocinco, Larry Johnson, and Tiki Barber.

“Feels great to be playing the game that I love again” says Favre after signing with Wranglers. “These guys did an awesome job of bringing in so much talent, I am so proud to be a member of this team. I will do whatever it takes to help us win. It's not about me.”

Way Down South In Dixie

Allen Wrangler offensive Coordinator Dixie Wooten, who went missing following team's 5th straight game that involved players fighting each other, found alive, but “out of it” in Mobile, Alabama hotel room with 30 empty bottles of Vodka next to his chair; Favre blames Wooten for recent blowup.

“I don't know what happened” says Favre. We were all getting along so well with each other. “If he doesn't want to be a part of this great organization, then we can move on without him.”

“Triple Threat” Favre Enjoying New Roles

Favre named new general manager, head coach, offensive coordinator; gets former teammate Mark Chmura out of retirement by sending him text messages of his “little friend”.

“Chmura's a great player” says Favre. “He will be great for us.”

A Hero Again

Wrangler QB Brett Favre throws 15 touchdowns in team's regular season finale, capping off a perfect season.

“See, I can still play” says Favre. “Imagine me with the talent up in Green Bay, we would have won four more Superbowls if they would have kept me.”

Record Payout for Packers GM

Green Bay Packers GM Ted Thompson wins record 135 million dollars for betting that Allen Wranglers QB Brett Favre would throw game winning interception in the Indoor Football League Championship Game.

“Sometimes things just happen that are out of your control” said Favre after overtime interception. “This is a game where there are many “ifs” and you can't blame yourself.”

"Trader Ted" Does It Again

Packers GM Ted Thompson trades QB B.J. Coleman to the Cowboys for 3 first round draft choices in 2013; one of which is the number one selection overall.

“That's just how things shook out” said Thompson after draft day trade for the ages.

“Ted is in control of everything that goes on here” said Packers head coach Mike McCarthy. “I am glad to work with such a great GM.”

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