Hi there, Acme Packing Company. How's it going? Has Aaron Rodgers retired yet? No?
Yes yes yes, I know you've talked about it ad nauseum on here already, but let me offer you my opinion, as a fan of an arch rival, the Minnesota Vikings. Your esteemed leader, Tex Western, is doing the same thing to the Vikings draft class over at The Daily Norseman, so go over there and check it out when you get a chance.
Quick ground rules here: We have a Packers fan - I hate the word ‘hostage' - that's such an ugly word, so let's go with ‘playing cards'. Yeah. Playing cards in a safe house just outside of Thief River Falls, and the APC staff has a Vikings fan playing cards at one of their safe houses just outside of Sheboygan. Let's just say our card playing hostages are safe, and as long as I leave APC unharmed at the end of this article, your card player leaves unharmed.
Same for Tex over at DN.
Overall, I thought it was a pretty decent job by Ted Thompson and company. I'm not a guy that likes to give grades-I get that people like them, but this soon after the draft they seem about as accurate as a Jay Cutler pass AMIRITE? So I'm going to just kind of give you my general impressions, and I won't go into detail about every pick.
When I'm done, feel free to throw rotten cheese at me in the comments section. I'll be at the bar signing personally autographed copies of my book ‘Lynn Dickey: Great Fullback Playing Quarterback, or Greatest?'
Round 1: Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix, S, Alabama
I thought Dix was the only no brainer pick here for Green Bay, with maaaaybe the exception of Darqueze Dennard. But safety was a bigger need for the secondary than cornerback, and Dix is a phenomenal get for you guys that far down in the draft, almost a borderline steal. Damn it.
Round 2: Davante Adams, WR, Fresno State
I get the idea of wanting a WR here. Green Bay has three pretty good top shelf guys, but there's some depth issues there. It's not that Adams is bad, it's just that I liked Cody Latimer, Jarvis Landry, or even maybe Allen Robinson there over Adams (I am a biased Big Ten guy, so take that for what it's worth). But then you watch tape of Adams catching damn near everything that David (Ed: I'm pretty sure he means Derek) Carr threw his way, and you understand the pick.
Okay, confession time here. I'm not Dan Kadar, so to sit here and give you insightful analysis on every pick just isn't happening. I'll be honest, I haven't heard of any of the guys Green Bay drafted in the third and fourth round.
"Oh, typical ignorant ass Vikings fan youbetcha', you're thinking. I'm just being honest here, and just so we're clear-I am not bagging on these guys at all. I just don't know who they are. I follow the Big Ten pretty closely, but outside of that, and most of the potential first round guys or guys that might be positions of need the Vikings might look at in the early rounds...I just don't care.
I do know Green Bay's defense was pretty bad, and they need to find a potential replacement for Jermichael Finley, and you answered those needs here. These picks should provide depth and competition right away, and say what you want about Ted Thompson, he's good at using the draft for roster replenishment. So if you think these guys are great picks, they are. If you think they're terrible picks, they are. I can't help you here, as my limited talents can only go so far.
But now, let's talk about a couple guys you picked late in the draft that really kind of pissed me off, if we're being honest with each other.
Round 5: Cory Linsley, C, Ohio State
I am a huge Ohio State fan, so C'MON MAN REALLY? My nightmare scenario here was that Ryan Shazier would be available and you'd take him, and then I would have been on the verge of quitting sports. Seriously quit picking Ohio State guys. It sucks cheering against guys like Linsley, Jake Stoneburner, AJ Hawk, Ryan Pickett MY GOD YOUR WHOLE TEAM IS EX-BUCKEYES. Seriously, Linsley was the anchor of a dramatically improving Ohio State o-line these last two years, and was largely responsible for creating the holes that Carlos Hyde ran through between the tackles. He might need a year or two to bulk up for the NFL, but I think you have a diamond in the rough here.
Round 5: Jared Abbrederis, WR, Wisconsin
If you ask me to list the biggest steal of the entire draft, for any team, it might be Abbrederis late in the fifth round. He's a very good route runner with great hands and screams Jordy Nelson Redux, but I don't think he has the straightline speed Nelson has. I also think he'll have a chance to contribute right away, and I can see him having success early on as a 4th wideout, going up against guys he should beat like a wet dog. I still wake up in a cold sweat replaying the Wisconsin OSU game, where JA made first round pick Bradley Roby look like he was in high school. Great for you guys, sucks for the rest of the NFC North. I would have loved to have seen either Linsley or Abbrederis picked by the Vikings in the fifth round.
So there you go. Good picks at the top, some nice value picks in the middle, and an absolute steal or two towards the back.
Nice draft, guys. We'll see you this fall.
Hope you go 0-16!