clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Be My Valentine: Packers Haiku Contest

Could there be any better time for bad poetry and a haiku contest than Valentine's Day? Join us for the first official APC poetry smackdown!

Jonathan Daniel

Today is Valentine's Day, a holiday which I'm convinced nobody actually likes. Instead, I think it exists purely for the purpose of making everyone feel either A: lonely because they're single and can't get a date, B: freaked out about not disappointing their significant other who probably doesn't really care about getting fancy gifts and stuff anyway, or C: annoyed about a holiday that seems to exist only for the benefit of florists and chocolatiers.

But what the heck, even with my rampant cynicism, I decided to try to get into the "true spirit" of the day by writing some poetry about something that I love; naturally, the subject of my affection today is our football team, the Green Bay Packers. Luckily for you, the only poetry form that I can still remember from my grade school English classes is the haiku, which doesn't really lend itself to overly sappy or emotional content. That's what you're getting on this loveliest of holidays.

Blue twenty-four, HUT!
Rodgers draws the D offsides--
Discount double-check.

Here comes Claymaker
Flying 'round the tackle's hip,
Quarterbacks: beware.

Newest corner star,
Snubbed for Rookie of the Year:
Hayward - what a find!

Seven rounds of picks,
To balance need and value;
Oh, in Ted we trust!

A.J. Hawk in Space
Better that than shedding blocks;
Cut or one more year?

Touchdowns left and right!
Suddenly Jones' hands are sure...
The new number one?

Thirteen titles strong!
Don't let Pittsburgh give you crap--
Green Bay: Titletown.

Now it's your turn. Give us your best (or worst) Packers-related haiku in the comments, and rec the ones you think are awesome. The haiku with the most recs wins...our congratulations and bragging rights as the champion of the first official APC haiku challenge. Start counting those syllables!