Ted Thompson is “Going Humpty-Do”

In honor of Ted Thompson’s press conference yesterday, in which he dropped some memorable one-liners — most notably how his career is “going along humpty-do,” we present this song by Paul Noonan and APC commenter Matub, set to the Humpty Dance. Enjoy!

All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
'Cause I'm about to ruin
Your question bout my callin it closed

They’re well-composed
But yo I'm makin' money, see
And my plans well they‘ll just stay with me
It’s quite a sight
We’ll talk about family night
And how we’ll finally see the guys underneath the lights

I drink up all the earl grey tea ya got on ya shelf
So just let me introduce myself

My name is Humpty.
Pronounced wit the UMPty
Street Free Agents, Oh how I like to funk thee
And all the GM's in the top 10, please allow me to bump thee

It’s a good mechanism
to see what you see and see
what you don’t see, which is sometimes as important as what you do see

I like Letroy
I like my nose tackles chunky
I'm funky, and Eliot’s my flunky

I'm sick wit dis, “will you quit” smack
But sometimes I get ridiculous
My plain white T and shorts are getting stink-ulous
Hey yo Rob Demo, I’m not that pricklish

Yeah, I see you Rob
Look at me, I'm winnin’
And I’d say the same to Bob McGinn

They make me speak
I try to stay in tune,
I signed Julius Peppers while in the Kroll’s men’s room.

I'm crazy
Allow me to amaze thee
They say I'm miserly. It just don't faze me
I'm still gettin' that postseason chance
And I even got my own dance

I’m - Just - Going - A - long - Humpty Do

Going Humpty Do, come on I’m going Humpty Do
Going Humpty Do, just watch me going Humpty Do
Do ya know where I’m goin', goin’ Humpty Do
Goin’ Humpty Do, oh yeah going Humpty Do