People take football very seriously. Sometimes too seriously. I’m here to change that one play at a time. For any plays you’d like me to discuss, tweet me at @farminvt.
Jordan Howard: light of foot, patience of Ghandi, blocking like a ghost. Yeah. Bigger whiffs than Giancarlo Stanton’s first home game as a Yankee. Worse misses than Shaq at the free throw line. How did we get here, though? What made me take time out of my day to point out that Jordan Howard, the starting running back for the Chicago Bears, doesn’t want to block for his fellow teammates? That’s an interesting story in and of itself.
Last Sunday against the rivalry-leading Green Bay Packers, Chicago decided to pull out all the stops on their first offensive drive, lining up in some ridiculous formations that would make Pop Warner coaches proud. I mean look at this:
A tackle split out wide with two receivers behind him, a tight end taking the tackle’s position...what will he think of next?! This is madness, and quite frankly if I was Mike McCarthy, I would whine and complain until the league changes the rules just like John Harbaugh did in 2015. NFL is supposed to stand for No Fun League and having people play out of position is clearly hurting the shield.
The lunacy didn’t stop there. A few plays after the ‘tackle out wide’ debauchery, Chicago resorts to a Gruden-esque 1940’s formation with three running backs in the backfield. Insane, right? But it gets even weirder - they line up NEXT TO EACH OTHER. It’s like they’re kindergartners lining up to go to the lunchroom and have to use the buddy system. The three musketeers that got into the wrong profession. The Three Amigos with less funny hats. Get a load of this:
There isn’t a single wide receiver on the field. This formation just SCREAMS pass, doesn’t it? Have you ever heard the phrase, “if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it’s probably a duck”? Well, if it looks like a run, the formation says its a run, and it’s the Bears with Trubisky at quarterback, it’s probably a run.
Tell me you saw Cohen’s lead blocker. Please. Here’s a hint: it’s Howard, #24. If you did, you’ll probably be chuckling at your desk right now. If you didn’t...
How about now?
I can hear Chris Berman’s “WHOOP” every time I watch it. I call this one the “olé” move - just like a matador, turn your hips and shoulders at the last second and wave bye-bye to your target. Howard even gave Tramon Williams, his target and eventual tackler, a high-five on his way by:
What a nice guy. Chicago would eventually score (just like they eventually lost), so it didn’t end up affecting the drive, but this play definitely won’t be going on his year end highlight reel.
That’s it for this week - remember to enjoy yourself, and as always, stay weird.