Tuesday Cheese Curds: Money tells the story

Money makes the NFL world go ‘round, and getting fans to judge every move by how it impacts the salary cap was one of the sneakiest things the league has ever done. Think about it: whether teams are spending a lot or a little, they can spin it as a win. Drop big money in free agency, shelling out huge money for guys that at least one team already decided they didn’t want? We’re winning! We’re aggressive! Pinch pennies and play hardball with players? We’re trying to be cap-conscious and pay as we go. Don’t want to end up in a cap crunch!

It’s an especially funny development considering every team’s payroll is more than fully covered by the league’s TV deals. Teams can cry poverty or spend freely, but the cash is all flowing from the same well-stocked pot. Just something to remember as the free agency wears on.

Highest-paid NFL players: Tracking most money guaranteed, per year at every position | ESPN

A look at who’s bringing home the most bacon across the NFL.

Packers give new long snapper Matt Orzech $300K signing bonus | Packers Wire

If you had any doubts as to who the Packers’ long snapper will be, this should alleviate them.

Prisco’s 2023 NFL Mock Draft 1.0: QBs fly off board as four go in top 5; Cowboys replace Ezekiel Elliott | CBS Sports

The top of the draft going QB-crazy would be a big help for the Packers. The Packers take Clemson DL Bryan Bresee here.

XFL Week 5 Recap: The Defenders Stand Alone | Football Outsiders

I admit to still being quite intrigued by the XFL, even if it’s questionable football.

Los Angeles neighborhood flooded with mystery Uber Eats deliveries | UPI

One day we’ll discover this was all the work of the Ubernator, a Los Angeles-based supervillain who seeks to mildly inconvenience people with unexpected food orders.